Home sweet Home

As the end of my contract approaches, I have been daydreaming about all of the things I look forward to upon my return to the states. I've been surprised by some of the things I've missed and entertained as I think about them. I thought you might get some enjoyment out of the randomness of my thoughts so I decided to share.

 

Here is my top 10 list of the things I look forward to the most:

10. Barbeque sauce. Koreans have tried to master the art of friend chicken and some foreigners prefer the chicken here to what they are used to getting back home but nothing compares to how the southerners do fried chicken and I can't wait to eat it with a heaping side of barbeque sauce that does not have the word "sour" anywhere on the label. 

9. Warm towels. Hanging clothes to dry is great for saving on your electric bill but I definitely prefer the clean feeling than the few extra dollars saved. I will gladly be washing and entire load of towels just to dry them and wrap myself up in their warmth when I return.

8. Southern hospitality. The entire time I've been in Korea, I've been pushed and shoved out of the way, stared at funny for holding a door open and given dirty looks for smiling as a nice gesture as I walk by. I am so looking forward to the charm and kindness of my fellow southerners.  

7. Shopping!!! Fashion in Korea is super cute but with all the "You big size" comments and tags that say "One size fits all" that should read "Our size fits one American thigh," I cannot wait to walk into a store a know that whatever I try on will actually fit me and look flattering. 

6. Fred Flintstones free bed. Although it may take my body some time to readjust to a bed that is not as flat as the ground we walk on, I am absolutely looking forward to sleeping in a bed with padding. 

5. Ordering food in English. Reading Hangul helps foreigners be able to pronounce what they are ordering correctly but just because you can pronounce it doesn't mean you understand what you are ordering. I am so excited to be able to go to a restaurant and order food knowing I will not be randomly surprised as I stare down at a bowl of pig cheeks or pig skin (Yes, I've accidentally ordered both).

4. Sexual harassment. If you are a foreigner living in Korea, you are only considered beautiful if you are blonde and The Corpse Bride skinny. Don't get me wrong, I know their standards of beauty are extreme and with the utmost humility I can genuinely say "I looks fly" BUT I definitely miss the occasional random pick up lines like "Girl are you a parking ticket cause you got FINE written all over you!" 

3. Taking a bath. I've never been a bath person, something about sitting in your own filth totally grosses me out but after a long stressful day, sometimes I would like the option of lighting a candle and listening to some Enya as I soak my troubles away in a bubble bath. 

2. Quality time. I love the advances we have made in modern technology over the years and I am grateful for FB, e-mail and skype. It has been wonderful to be able to stay in touch with everyone since I've been gone but nothing compares to being face to face with the people you love.

1. My crazy family!! Having Kasey visit me has been such a wonderful treat but it has also reminded me of how good I have it. I miss my family so much, I even miss having Brooke call me 15 times a day to leave messages yelling at me for not answering the phone the other 14 times she called. I can't wait to get hugs from my family and slobbery kisses from my nieces and nephews. 

Stop, drop and roll

Two weeks after arriving in Korea, I was introduced to the very loud, very obnoxious intercom systems I would soon realize would become part of every day life for me here. Over the loud speaker, an announcement was made letting us know someone would soon be visiting our apartment to spray for bugs. Not understanding a word of Korean, when the man came over the intercom and began to explain, I was confused and felt as though I had got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. I knew the announcement was for the entire building but the words he was speaking made me feel like I was in trouble. There is something about the Korean language that will do that to you. 

A few minutes later, I got a knock on my door and a woman began speaking to me in Korean. I had absolutely no idea what she was saying and after a few minutes of her yelling things at me, she handed me a pen and motioned for me to sign her clipboard. When I got to school, my co-teachers explained the lady who came by was asking me to sign stating she had sprayed for bugs. 

The intercom announcements at my apartment usually happen once a month. They were annoying at first but I have gotten used to them. Nothing in Korea surprises me anymore. Once, I was studying the book of Hebrews in an outdoor, public park with some people from church and as we were reading the word, over the loud speakers we had no idea where in the park came another random announcement we could not understand. There are speakers everywhere in this country and I have come to expect the random, inconvenient timing of Korean news bulletins. 

Tonight however, I was not expecting it. As I lied in bed trying to get some rest and prepare for another crazy day of teaching, I was awoken by a sound I assumed was a fire alarm. I immediately rose trying to figure out what the foreign noise was. I didn't hear police sirens or fire trucks, there was no movement in the hallways and I didn't smell smoke so I calmed myself and laid back down. 10 minutes later the noise began again. Trying not to freak out as I wondered what was going on, I realized how scary it is to be in a foreign country, in a land of unknowns. In the entire 7 and a half months I have been here, I have never once heard the actual sound of a smoke detector or fire alarm. I have absolutely no idea what an emergency siren of any kind sounds like. 

It's a scary realization to know that if I actually were in danger, I wouldn't know. It made me reflect on all the times I was annoyed hauling children out of the CPS office during a routine fire drill or standing outside in the Texas heat as a child waiting to be allowed back inside the school. You don't realize the small things you take for granted until the fear of the unknown is staring you in the face. 

How far is too far?

Yesterday, I walked into my last class of the day to find one of my students crying. I asked her what was wrong but she doesn't speak much English and was unable to articulate what happened. Fortunately, the other boy in the class is more fluent and he pulled as many English words and hand gestures he knew to help translate for her. The student told me they had a test in the previous class and the student who was crying only got 2 answers right out of 10.

I asked the student if she was crying because she was sad about her score and she shook her head no and said "Angry my mom." She then used her hand to indicate she would be disciplined once she got home.  

I found myself becoming increasingly frustrated as the clocked revealed the student would soon be going home. When this child was put in my class in March, myself and another foreign teacher told the Korean staff this level was too high for her and she would not be successful. Despite our multiple attempts to get her moved down to an appropriate level, we were ignored. 

In Korea, classroom space and financial compensation from the parents take precedent to the actual needs of the child. We have had children placed in a class 4 levels higher than where they should be because "the other classes are full" (A full class being 6 students) or "His/her mom won't be happy if we move him/her down." 

The flip side of being pushed through too quickly is students that are pushed far to hard. Every Monday, I ask my students if they had a good weekend and what they did over the weekend. And each Monday, I hear several students respond saying "Study, to get 100% correct." 2 weeks ago I got a new student. A precious 6 year old who is in the first grade. At 6 years old, she is already fluent in Korean, English and Japanese and is in a class that is normally filled with Korean students who are 10 and 11 years old. 

 

I hurts my heart so much to know so many of my kids are being robbed of a normal childhood. We vent at work about the behavioral problems of our students but I wholeheartedly believe if they were given the chance to run around and be a child, they wouldn't be running around the school all day. I hate that the Korean children keep getting pushed through the Hagwon's despite their inability to excel at their current grade level. We aren't helping them, we are hurting them. And in Angela's case, the school's lack of concern for the child's well being is causing her to get a beating at home. :(

Run Waegook Run!

Last year on a whim, my community group and I decided to run the Color Run. I say run but you can hardly call what we did running. All 229 pounds of me showed up thinking I was actually going to be able to run some of it. I hadn't run in forever and I knew I wouldn't be able to run all of it but I was certain I would be able to run some of it. Ha! We ran a few steps but mostly we walked, splashed ourselves with color and made paint angles on the ground and it was a blast! 

Although I had a lot of fun, I definitely don't consider it an actual race. When I heard a girl at work talking about running a half marathon in Korea and how cool it was when she got her first medal in another country, my ears perked up and I thought to myself "I want a medal from another country." I didn't actually have a medal from my own country, but I was determined to get one while in Korea. So, with the help of another foreigner who reads Hangul much better than I do, I registered for my first 5k. 

For the last few weeks I've been training in an attempt to be able to run the entire 5k without walking. Unfortunately, my old ankle injury decided it didn't like all the running and started to cause me a lot of pain. I wasn't able to train like I was hoping so I definitely wasn't prepared to run the entire race.  

Despite not being fully prepared, I woke up Saturday morning ready to take my 2 hour bus ride to Boryeong for my race. After 4 cab rides to all the wrong bus terminals in Daejeon, I finally arrived at the correct bus terminal at 6:28am to board the bus departing at 6:32am. I watched as the runners for the half marathon and 10k left to run their courses and eagerly waited to start my 5k. 

Running my first race in Korea was interesting to say the least. In addition to the race medal a runner receives, typical gifts for completion include rice and seaweed. Before the start of each race, runners stretch together, and massage each other to prepare for the race. I was given the following warning from the girl who registered me, "Don't be alarmed if people start touching you." I'm glad her statement came with an explanation of the race massaging because I definitely would have been caught off guard. And lastly, Korean's take theme running to a whole new level. I saw a man with pantyhose on his head carring a huge toy gun the entire length of the race and three men wearing cheetah print dresses. Anywhere other than Korea I'm pretty sure the man carrying the gun would have been arrested and held for questioning. 

After we completed the race we walked to the nearby beach and jumped into the ocean with our race clothes on. In Korea, bathing suits are not allowed before summer and even during summer time, many girls wear a big baggy t-shirt to swim in due to the very modest dress code they follow in Korea. 

The water was just what we needed after a race in the very humid and hot Korean weather. We came out of the water to be greeted by a group of Ajusshi's (older Korean men) who wanted us to play a beach game with them. The game is called Jokju and can best be described as soccer volleyball. There is a low net in the middle, above the ground and you get points my serving the ball (with a kick) and kicking the ball from one side of the net to the other until someone scores. The Ajusshi's predictably underestimated us and were very surprised by our athletic abilities. Several head butts and face plants into the sand later, we took a group picture with the men and parted ways. 

It was a super great day and one I will definitely never forget. 

Medal from Korea, 34 minute finish time for my first race, a dive in the ocean and beach games with random Korean men... I'd consider that a definite success for my first official race! 

My heart is shaped like Texas

8 days ago I got word that one of the people I have grown to love so dearly while in Korea is leaving sooner than I expected. I knew the end of her contract was quickly approaching but she teased me by dangling the words "I might stay one more year," in front of me and I got super excited about the thought of getting to spend more time with her. She has spoken wisdom and truth into my life only a mother can share, she has welcomed me with open arms when I didn't even utter a word and simply laid my head on her shoulder. She is a beautiful person and I am more than sad that soon I will have to say goodbye. 

Another dear friend I have made while I've been here will also be leaving in a few months. She has tried to speak to me about her excitement of going to Tanzania and selfishly, I have told her I'm not ready to talk about it. Just 6 months ago, I said so many goodbye's. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done and frankly I'm not ready to start doing it again. 

I came to Korea knowing it was a heavily transient community and there would be many goodbyes and honestly, it made me very guarded. I haven't opened up to very many people, I've created superficial relationships with most people I've met because I didn't want to let them in knowing one of us would soon be leaving. Facing the quickly approaching goodbye's, it's brought me back to a place of guarding my heart. In a skype date Tuesday, I told a friend back home with only 5 months left I have no desire to make new friendships. Fortunately, Mandy knows me well enough to know when to speak truth into my life and she quickly responded with the words "I love you, I support you, but I can't relate to you." She reminded me that my friendships with Corine, Megan and the other wonderful people I have met so far in Korea are so unique because only the people in Korea with me can understand just how hard it is to live here. 

They can relate to words that would be so cryptic to my friends back home without a lengthy back story explaining why it's so frustrating when a child writes the words "I do ballet because I am ugly," on a speech contest. They understand why I run and start looking at prices of plane tickets when my Korean head teacher utters the words "Don't worry." They know what it feels like to be pushed out of the elevator by an Ajusshi so hard you feel you are going to fall over just to politely nod your head and walk back on.  

The thought of investing in new friendships can be really scary sometimes but risking your heart is so rewarding when it results in beautiful life long friendships. If I hadn't risked my heart and opened up to Megan and Corine, I wouldn't have been blessed with such a wonderful experience so far. 

To anyone reading this who is struggling with the same feelings of not wanting to open up and make friendships, I would highly encourage you to take the lock of your heart and throw it away. Soak up every minute of time you have with the people you are in community with right now. Because although it may be temporary, you are creating bonds that go so deep and nothing can ever compare to that. 

Megan and Corine, I can't express in words how much you mean to me. This blog is for you. You will never be able to get rid of me and I want you to always remember just how special you are to me! 

On top of the world (Mountain)

Me at the top of the mountain. The marker that shows the
height of the peak, 423 meters. 

A few years ago, I went on a hiking trip with some random people I met online to Hot Springs, Arkansas. It was the first time I had been hiking since I hiked Diamond Head in Hawaii with my sister, and I was excited. It was an easy hike and I was having a great time with my friends, UNTIL...

Until, someone had the bright idea to get off the marked trail to take a picture. We climbed down, off the trail (all 20 something of us) to get a picture of all of us with the lake in the background. As we were climbing back up, I followed the rest of the group only for the ground to give out as I stepped up resulting in me falling, rolling down the hill a few times and ultimately hitting my head on a rock. The fall only produces a few marks and bruises but I would later learn that the mental scars were far worse than the physical ones. 

In March, I decided to try hiking again. Korea is surrounded by beautiful mountains and I was anxious to get back out there and hike some of them. With my backpack and camel pack ready to go, I braved the mountain on a beautiful Saturday morning. I was doing well until we got to a point where we reached a steep uphill climb and all I could see were rocks. Anxiety and fear crippled me and I lost it. I couldn't do it. I had come so far but I just couldn't bring myself to go any further. 

I was so disappointed, I desperately wanted to get to the top of the mountain but despite my attempts to calm myself and push forward. The spirit of fear won and I went back down the direction I had just come. I attempted a second hike when I was in Jeonju and yet again found myself giving control to the spirit of fear. 

Frustration and disappointment mounted as I so desperately wanted to be able to hike again without having flashbacks of the accident and fear that I would fall again. 

Well friends. Today was that day!! I set out to hike yet again, determined to succeed and reach the top of the mountain. With Romans 8:38-39 and 2 Timothy 1:7 tucked away in my brain this time, I stepped foot after foot, sweat pouring down and quoted the scripture every time I felt fearful. I hiked all the way up to the top of Mount Gyejoksan, all 423 meters (1388 feet) of it. It was a wonderful adventure and a great reminder that my God is far bigger than any evil trick Satan has up his sleeve.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Red Clay Soil trail. In Korea people come and walk
this trail barefoot allowing the clay to wrap around their
feet and provide some sort of healing treatment.  

Burial tomb. It's very common in Korea to see burial tombs
in many of the mountains. 

Unfortunately, it was a cloudy day but here is my view
of the city from the peak of the mountain.

On the way back down I found this gem. If you look closely,
you can see the mountain I hiked in the far left corner. 

Buh Ran Dee goes to the doctor

Two days after arriving in Korea I was sent to go get my health exam. Before getting the exam, I had to get my photo taken to go with the paperwork. The head teacher of my school sent me to a professional photo taking shop to get a single head shot for the paperwork. Only, it wasn't a single shot. The photographer took shot after shot of my face then meticulously took his time to airbrush every single freckle off my face before printing my package of pictures. 

You see in Korea, having perfectly white, pasty skin is considered beautiful. Being tan is considered sexy and takes away your innocence. Freckles are considered ugly and heaven forbid you have a mole! 

Well, I have a few of them. I didn't listen to my mom when she was yelling as us to put on sunblock before we went outside. Instead, I spent hours at the lake, swimming pool, or on the tennis court soaking in the sun and the sun burns. And as I've gotten older, my skins is revealing to the world that I didn't listen to my mama. 

Today I went to the doctor to have a skin lesion checked. If you've ever watched FRIENDS, you may recall the episode titled "The one with Ross' thing." Ross, has an unknown skin lesion examined, and at the doctors office, the lead doctor calls in every other doctor, medical student, and staff at the hospital to look at Ross' "thing." This is exactly what I felt like today. The Korean's "ooo'd" and "aaaaa'd" in awe of the fact that my skin looked different then theirs. It was extremely uncomfortable but I can't help but laugh at all the differences between our cultures. 

It was a very weird experience but the day did provide a couple of laughs. While speaking to the resident before seeing the doctor. He noticed a scar on my arm. Knowing why I was there, he still felt it necessary to put his two cents in and tell me "Ohhhhh, scar very ugly, I take off, you beautiful again." I politely declined his offer, never wanting to forget the reason I have that scar, only for him to try two more times to allow him to operate on me so I could become beautiful. 

My visit concluded with hearing one of the nurses calling out the names of all the patients seen that day as the other nurse was cutting into my skin. It was a nice distraction for the anxiety that was plaguing me...

1. Jun suh Park 

2. Seo yun Kim

3. Kim jun un

4. Woo jin Choi

5. Yeon Jun Lee 

6. Buh Ran Dee <----------- That's me :) 

P.S. I'm totally saving up to get the best jewel covered, bedazzled, laced, summer umbrella you will ever see!