The Crafty Harlot

As a single girl, you've probably heard the words "You will find your husband when you least expect it," or "He will come when you stop looking." It's something I've heard time and time again from my married friends. Each time I've heard those words it has come partnered with a beautiful love story of how they met their husband in a time when the last thing on their mind was meeting their mate. Few times, those words have been spoken paired with hidden inflections of frustration as the women expressed how they had gotten to a point where they had given up on love. But each story has something else in common, a woman who's heart was completely devoted to the Lord's plan and provision in her life.

As I was reading in Proverbs recently, I came across a passage titled "The Crafty Harlot." In other translations, this passage is known as the "Warning Against the Adulterous Woman," "The Wiles of the Harlot," and my personal favorite, "Another Warning about Immoral Women, because clearly, we don't get it! 

As I read this passage, I realized the Lord is not only talking about adulterers in this passage but about many of today's single women. Now bear with me girls, I'm not calling you a harlot, or any of the other non so flattering synonyms to the word like hussy, tramp or slut. So please, let me explain myself. 

In Chapter 7, the bible describes the harlot as "loud and rebellious, lurking at every corner." As she speaks to the man she has lurkingly found, she says "So I came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face and I have found you. (vs. 15)" You see, many single women of our day are "on the prowl," searching for their perfect match, Mr. Right, "The One." 

The senior pastor at my church said it best in his blog titled Treasures Don't Do the Hunting.Take a moment to let these very wise words sink in.

"One of the reasons guys don't pursue women, 

is that they don't have to...

Why? 

Because he has no reason to pursue you privately,

if he can always enjoy you publicly..." 

It seems to me that the christian single life is becoming more and more appealing. Why do guys need to make a commitment when they can have 3 to 4 group dates with you each week. They see you at church, service opportunities, dinner after the softball game, and of course the weekly Friday/Saturday night social outings. You put your best clothes on in anticipation of being able to see the latest guy you are crushing on, scanning the room so your eyes can meet his to see if he notices you.

It breaks my heart to see so many women discontent in their singleness when Paul tells us it is one of the greatest gifts we can have. He tells if we are single not to seek a spouse. He reminds us that "The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit." free to serve the Lord without distraction. 

One of my new favorite examples of how to serve the Lord without distraction is a woman in the bible who doesn't get a lot of attention. Her name is Anna. 

Everything we know about Anna is captured in three short verses in the book of Luke. Anna is described as "very old," "a widow of 84 years." Unclear of whether she was 84 years old or a widow for 84 years, what we do know is she was with her husband only 7 years and spent the rest of her adult life as a widow, wholeheartedly devoted to the Lord. Verse 37 tells us that Anna "did not depart from the temple, but served God with fasting and prayers DAY and NIGHT." Anna was a devoted follower of the Lord who understood where her time should be spent. She cried out to God daily, spent time with Him nurturing her relationship with him and putting others before herself and she fasted and prayed. 

I pray that we will be devoted to a life of putting God first, that as a single woman you will be described by the same words and phrases used to describe Ruth, Ester and Anna and that we will stop creating opportunities for future texts titled "Again, Another Warming about Immoral Women. "

I hope as a body of single women, we will be mindful of our actions and where we are spending our time. If you are spending more time out at social gatherings in your conquest to find a mate than you are seeking the Lord and getting to know Him more intimately then you might need to re-evaluate your priorities. 

We are the Ruth's, Ester's and Anna's of the future generation. Let's be an example to the girls following behind us and help them understand their worth is not found in men. Allow yourselves to be less available to men and more available to God and trust me when I say that when your heart is so hidden in God, you will be come undeniably attractive to every man of God around you.

Christian Cliche's

I have something to confess. I have been guilty of giving the typical christian cliche response when my friends and family have come to me with struggles. In my heart, I am a "fixer" trying to save the world and when someone in my life is hurting my initial response to fix the situation and remove the hurt and pain. Recently, while reading the book of Job, the Lord convicted my heart of that very thing and opened my eyes to seeing how that is not helpful. 

To refresh your memory, Satan was "checking in" with God in heaven (Job 1:6) and they began talking about Job. The Lord told Satan "there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil." God was confident in Job's faithfulness and obedience to him so he allowed Satan to use his power over Job commanding only one thing, that he not "lay a hand on his person." Satan used his power indeed, causing Job to lose his property and his children and infecting him boils all over his body. Job was in so much pain he cried out to the Lord cursing the day of his birth. 

Can you imagine losing everything you own, your family and battling and illness that daily causes tremendous pain. Job was justifiably upset. He cried out to God in anger, he didn't understand what was going on. And although God comforted Job from afar, he also provided 3 men on earth that were friends to Job during this difficult time in his life. As I continued to read through the bible's mention of Job's three friends, conviction stirred my heart. 

In Chapter 4 we are introduced to Eliphaz who reacts by telling Job "Remember now, who ever perished being innocent?" Eliphaz was convinced the reason Job was facing so much turmoil in his life was because of some unconfessed sin he needed to deal with. His friends Bildad and Zophar had similar feelings, telling Job he needed to repent for whatever he had done. 

All three of these men saw what Job was going through and believed He was being punished by God. They urged him to confess and repent for his wrongdoing, when all the while Job was being taken through a trial we would be talking about years later as we reflect upon Job's faithfulness to the Lord through his difficulty. These men had no idea what was really going on but they formed opinions about what they thought was happening and tried to "help" Job by giving him useless and unnecessary advice. 

Here are some do's and don'ts we can all take away from this passage. 

Do:

- Prayerfully consider how you will respond. If a friend approaches you in times of trouble or sadness, grief or mourning, allow yourself time to say a prayer (even a quick one) asking the Lord to speak through you what HE wants you to say. 

- Listen more and talk less. Often times when someone is hurting they just need to get it out. They don't always need the problem to be fixed right then and there. You can be the most help by letting them talk to you and not responding. 

- Always pray for discernment. If you are continually asking the Lord to provide discernment, He will. The holy spirit is our helper and he will speak to you and guide you if you are seeking it. 

Don't:

- Don't be impulsive. One of the things Job's friends did right was lay with him and wait (2:13). They didn't speak, they just sat with him and waited, acknowledging that his grief was great. 

- Don't respond with the typical christian cliche's like; "God works in mysterious ways," "God has a plan for you," "God doesn't give us more than we can handle," and "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." They are not helpful and frankly, very annoying. 

- Don't google "bible verses for encouragement" and pick the first thing that "speaks to you" to send to your friend in need. 

Lastly, I want to point out the Lord's response to Job's three friends in this situation. In Chapter 42 v. 7 God says "My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as my servant Job has... My servant Job shall pray for you." Be the Job in these situations, the man being USED by God, not the man angering God.