Christian Cliche's

I have something to confess. I have been guilty of giving the typical christian cliche response when my friends and family have come to me with struggles. In my heart, I am a "fixer" trying to save the world and when someone in my life is hurting my initial response to fix the situation and remove the hurt and pain. Recently, while reading the book of Job, the Lord convicted my heart of that very thing and opened my eyes to seeing how that is not helpful. 

To refresh your memory, Satan was "checking in" with God in heaven (Job 1:6) and they began talking about Job. The Lord told Satan "there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil." God was confident in Job's faithfulness and obedience to him so he allowed Satan to use his power over Job commanding only one thing, that he not "lay a hand on his person." Satan used his power indeed, causing Job to lose his property and his children and infecting him boils all over his body. Job was in so much pain he cried out to the Lord cursing the day of his birth. 

Can you imagine losing everything you own, your family and battling and illness that daily causes tremendous pain. Job was justifiably upset. He cried out to God in anger, he didn't understand what was going on. And although God comforted Job from afar, he also provided 3 men on earth that were friends to Job during this difficult time in his life. As I continued to read through the bible's mention of Job's three friends, conviction stirred my heart. 

In Chapter 4 we are introduced to Eliphaz who reacts by telling Job "Remember now, who ever perished being innocent?" Eliphaz was convinced the reason Job was facing so much turmoil in his life was because of some unconfessed sin he needed to deal with. His friends Bildad and Zophar had similar feelings, telling Job he needed to repent for whatever he had done. 

All three of these men saw what Job was going through and believed He was being punished by God. They urged him to confess and repent for his wrongdoing, when all the while Job was being taken through a trial we would be talking about years later as we reflect upon Job's faithfulness to the Lord through his difficulty. These men had no idea what was really going on but they formed opinions about what they thought was happening and tried to "help" Job by giving him useless and unnecessary advice. 

Here are some do's and don'ts we can all take away from this passage. 

Do:

- Prayerfully consider how you will respond. If a friend approaches you in times of trouble or sadness, grief or mourning, allow yourself time to say a prayer (even a quick one) asking the Lord to speak through you what HE wants you to say. 

- Listen more and talk less. Often times when someone is hurting they just need to get it out. They don't always need the problem to be fixed right then and there. You can be the most help by letting them talk to you and not responding. 

- Always pray for discernment. If you are continually asking the Lord to provide discernment, He will. The holy spirit is our helper and he will speak to you and guide you if you are seeking it. 

Don't:

- Don't be impulsive. One of the things Job's friends did right was lay with him and wait (2:13). They didn't speak, they just sat with him and waited, acknowledging that his grief was great. 

- Don't respond with the typical christian cliche's like; "God works in mysterious ways," "God has a plan for you," "God doesn't give us more than we can handle," and "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." They are not helpful and frankly, very annoying. 

- Don't google "bible verses for encouragement" and pick the first thing that "speaks to you" to send to your friend in need. 

Lastly, I want to point out the Lord's response to Job's three friends in this situation. In Chapter 42 v. 7 God says "My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as my servant Job has... My servant Job shall pray for you." Be the Job in these situations, the man being USED by God, not the man angering God.