The kindness of a stranger

The week of Christmas, I was informed I would be getting a short "winter break." I worked December 28th but would not have to return to work until January 4th. Had I known sooner, I would have hoped on a plane and spent the week in Japan but that wasn't really an option for me on such short notice. So, trying to decide what I would do with my break I posted on a Facebook page here all the foreigners use, called Daejeon Peeps. My post was simple and explained I had some time off work and I asked if anyone had any ideas for things I could do close to Daejeon. I got several responses, telling me to visit a local department store, go climb one of the rock walls, hiking, ect. But I got two responses that changed my winter break. 

The first from a girl who offered to show me good places to eat if I took the advice of another and visited the local department store. I had already visited the department store and found the wonderful Uniqlo that carries the heattech leggings I told you about, but I wasn't going to pass the opportunity to eat yummy food and have great conversation with a potential new friend. So, Lara and I arranged a time to have lunch and I met her and her friend Rachel outside the Lotte Department store. We walked through the department store to a little restaurant on the other side. They learned there were several things I hadn't tried so they ordered an array of new foods for me to experience. We chatted and I learned that Lara is from Canada and Rachel is from the UK. I had a great lunch and they helped me understand the importance of taking advantage of every opportunity given to me. These girls started my New Year's Eve off with smiles and laughter that proved to be a theme for the remainder of the night. 

I received another response on the news feed, from a girl who attended the church I visited when I first arrived in Korea. I ended up finding another church home and I never officially met Megan when I visited the church but we exchanged a few Facebook e-mails and in her comment she suggested I go to Seoul for New Year's Eve. I thought it was merely a suggestion, so I told her it was a good idea but there was no way I was braving Seoul alone on New Year's Eve. Megan quickly responded telling me she was going with some friends and I was more than welcome to join her. I was excited to finally get the opportunity to meet Megan, and let's face it, the idea of spending New Year's Eve with other believers was much more enticing than standing outside near City Hall in Daejeon alone. So, we got on the train to Seoul, braved the madness of the crowded subway, which in my best attempt to explain to you would still not help you understand what I experienced that night, but I'll try. Imagine a hurd of 1 million cows trying to fit into a pin that will only fit 500,000. As people shoved their way onto the subway, I heard noises that resemble what you would hear from barn yard animals. At one point the subway doors bounced back open unable to close because the people trying to get on couldn't fit. On my first night of meeting Megan we experienced new levels of friendship intimacy I have yet to experience with my closest friends thanks to the Seoul Subway :) We counted down the New Year's with new friends, ate Taco Bell (which everyone in the group was way excited about) and I experienced Noraebang for the first time. I watched the others in the group sing their hearts out at Karaoke, I rapped along with them to Ms. Jackson and This is How we do it. It was a wonderful night full of adventure and I met some amazing people who love the Lord and it was a joy to be around them. 

Be a Boaz, not a Bozo!

I know the title of this blog might be a little harsh but it caught your attention right? I'm glad you are reading this. Recently, I blogged about what the Lord has been revealing to me through the book of Ruth. As, I've read Ruth again, the Lord is reminding me of her faith and I've been so encouraged by it. But He's also reminding me of the type of man I deserve to be with. In the book of Ruth Boaz refer's to Ruth as a woman of noble character or excellence (in some translations). But as I've re-read this book, God has continuously reminded me that Boaz too was a man of excellence. He was a man who acted with selflessness, put the well being of others first, he was mature and thought things through, he guarded the hearts of others and he showed compassion and kindness in everything he did. 

Sometime last year, I read a book called A Man Worth Waiting For (plug to this book, read it if you haven't). In the book, the author describes the type of men the Lord desires for us to be with as Boaz' and men who are here to distract us as Bozo's. I'm sure there is a female equivalent for the men reading this blog. Ladies, as I've been reading Ruth again, God has made it blatantly obvious how a man should treat a woman and I hope this blog helps encourage you to stand up for what you deserve and stop letting the Bozo's walk all over your heart. If you haven't done so lately, I would encourage you to go back and read Ruth. It's 4 short chapters so don't rush through it, really let it sink in and you will see what I'm talking about. 

Here are some of the character traits Boaz has. Ladies, be on the lookout for these and to the men reading this blog, I hope if you aren't already doing these things you will be encouraged to start.

- Boaz provides for Ruth. 2:8 Boaz gives Ruth a place to glean and get food for her and and Naomi and tells her she may drink from the water the men have filled any time she is thirsty. 
- Boaz protects Ruth 2:8 Not only does he tell the men in the fields to stay away from her, but he tells her to stay close to the servants to ensure her safety.
- Boaz extends kindness and hospitality 2:14 Finding her gleaning in his fields, he invites Ruth to dine with him. Ruth stays to eat and the word tells us she ate all she wanted and still had some left over. 
- Boaz is concerned with Ruth's emotional wellbeing 2:15 Boaz orders his men not to embarrass her if they see her gleaning after dinner.
- Boaz gives to those in need 2:16, even after Ruth eats, he tells his men to pull some stalks for her to pick up and take him.
- Boaz does the right thing 3:12 After Ruth proposes marriage he tells her there is a kinsman nearer than he and encourages her to go to him first.  
- Boaz protects her reputation 3:14 After Ruth comes to lay at his feet at night, he knows it would not be good for anyone to see her so he covers her and tells her to get up in the morning before anyone recognizes her. 

And finally in verse 18 Naomi tells Ruth with confidence to WAIT, "For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today." A man of excellence will not let things linger, he will not let the well being of others left lingering and confused. He takes initiative and does the right thing, even at the expense of his own well being. Boaz was impressed with Ruth from the beginning, he heard about her faith from others and was enlightened when he met her and I'm sure he wanted to marry her but there were things that needed to be dealt with first. So, he dealt with those things but he also communicated that to her. I love the example he sets. I've been encouraged recently by someone who has been a pleasant surprise and I know there are more men out there who are men of excellence so don't settle for the Bozo's, wait for the man who will gladly and so naturally do the things listed above! 

Under God's wings

It's no secret I've battled depression, I've been very open with you all about that through this blog. Partly because it is an explanation for why I am so emotional all of the time, but mostly because though I continue to struggle with it from time to time, God has equipped me with the tools to overcome it and I want you to be encouraged knowing that you too, with the help of our Lord can overcome it as well. I was terrified to come to Korea because I knew the depression would creep back into my life and my family and friends would no longer be just a phone call away when I needed them. When that fear crept in, God reminded me that I should not be turning to them first but to Him.

Ready to embrace the big change and take the leap of faith I knew He wanted me to experience, I was hit with a tornado, hurricane and tsunami of emotions far beyond my control. I've never felt the intensity of emotion I felt weeks before I left and continue to feel today. Honestly, I have been a wreck a lot of the time I've been here and have spent many nights crying out to God for comfort. While my support system back home continues to be amazing, it is extremely difficult to be in a foreign land and not have them readily available when I need them. God has taken me away from my comforts and my support and thrown me in a situation where I have no choice but to turn to Him. 

Today in a moment of searching for answers, I turned to the story of Ruth. When we think of the story of Ruth, many of us think of her being referred to as a women of virtue or excellence or your mind may wonder to her lying at the feet of Boaz and asking him to take her as his wife. This story has brought me comfort many times during my singleness but today God spoke through this passage in a different way. He reminded me over and over again of Ruth's blind faith. After the loss of her father in law, brother in law and husband, Ruth's mother in law told her to return to her home and find a new husband. Ruth refused (1:16) and made the choice to follow Naomi to a land foreign to her. In my bible, the commentary reads "Ruth, A Moabitess, did not have Israelite culture to guide her actions. She had to rely totally on God for wisdom." She had to listen closely and patiently wait on the Lord to direct her. She had to trust in the discernment the Lord gave her as she choose to follow Naomi's advice and sit at the feet of Boaz.

There are countless verses in the bible about having faith but as the Lord stressed the significance of Ruth's faith, He reminded me of Hebrews 11:6, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." I know living by faith is difficult at times, I have had a really hard time lately as I'm blindly walking into a lot of things and not understanding the Lord's plan. But, I know two things, first, He has a plan and knowing that brings a lot of comfort. I may be walking blindly but He knows where I am going and will not lead me astray. And second, the Lord calls us to live by faith. As difficult as it may be sometimes, He calls us to do it and He wouldn't have done so if it weren't possible. So, under the Lord's wings I will continue to fly, knowing He will protect me and guide me through what is to come. 

Dreading New Year's Eve

Superstition holds, failing to kiss someone at the stroke of midnight ensures an entire year of loneliness  Well, I'm living proof that is not true. Last year I went on a camping trip with 19 random strangers. One of the people I met was a cute Indian boy who my dad liked to refer to as "Au Jus." I ended up spending a lot of time with him prior to New Year's Eve and although we exchanged a few kisses between Christmas and New Year's, I knew we wouldn't be spending New Year's Eve together so I wasn't left anticipating a midnight kiss.

He went camping with some of our friends, and I went to a party being thrown by one of my friends from church. Shout out to Frank, I'm so bummed I won't be able to attend your "Mascaraed" party this year! I didn't drink a sip of alcohol and there was no boy anxiously waiting to kiss me and it was the best New Year's Eve I've ever had! We two stepped, we laughed, we sang at the top of our lungs, I watched crazy face Gonzalez "shuffle" his way around the dance floor, and the entire night left a smile on my face I couldn't remove even if I tried. I had a wonderful time with beautiful people and despite what the superstition implies, 2012 was far from lonely! In the last year, I have met amazing people and made wonderful, solid friendships. I have been surrounded by love and affection, encouraged and supported in times of sadness and pain and celebrated in times of victory. My support system was increased and I am utterly amazed and in awe of God's goodness toward me. I don't deserve what He continues to provide but I will gladly take it in. 

As I reflect back on my time last year, I am sad that I won't be spending this New Year's Eve with my friends. For me, it's not about the celebration, the count down, or the New Year's Eve kiss, it's about being surrounded by the people I love. I miss you friends! My life isn't the same without you in it every day, and even though I speak to you often, I miss your presence. I miss your smiles, your silly giggles, your random jokes and your quirky personalities. And to the one I haven't talked to, I miss you too! 

I'm tan in Korea!

Yep, it's true, I'm tan in Korea! I remember one time while working at CPS, one of my coworkers was teaching her daughter how to say the colors in Spanish. I don't know why but we challenged her to tell us the color of our skin. My coworker who's actually Hispanic but gets mistaken for being Asian was quickly referred to as "amarillo" and as the littler girl pointed to me she shouted "rojo." 

I tell you that story because Saturday on my 6 hour walking adventure, I went into a cosmetic store to buy makeup. I don't wear makeup very often, only when I'm going out with friends and shortly before I left to come here, I ran out of the little powder I had left and forgot to buy some. I don't know if it's the aftermath of the jet lag or the fact that I'm getting older, but I have dark circles under my eyes and I've been in desperate need of concealer and powder. In my attempt to communicate with the girl at the store who insisted on helping me (even though I'm sure I would have been much better off without her help) she picked a powder and I laughed inside thinking "Seriously, that is way too light, can't you see my face." After exchanging several different hand signals to try to tell her I needed a darker color, three shades later we got something that looked like it was close enough. 

I used the concealer and powder the next day before church only to realize it was not even close to the color I need. But, I've learned something about the women here in Korea, they desire to be shades lighter than their actual skin color. So, for the time being, (and because I am and don't want to spend more money on make-up) I will join the light faced club and wear my powder that is too light for my skin. 

Here are some other interesting things I'm sure you would love to know, enjoy! :D 
- Whitener is put in face moisturizer, to achieve the lighter skin look I was just referring too. 
- No one where's sunglasses. The sun shines just as bright in Korea as it does in Texas but I'm the only person walking around with bug eyed sunglasses. 
- Koreans are fascinated with foreigners. Every where I walk people are starting and random men laugh and say hello in English 3 times as they pass you looking back. 
- When taking a picture, instead of saying "cheese" you say "kimchi" and the picture would not be complete without someone putting up the peace sign.
- If a Korean says the word "spicy" it is code for "You crazy American girl, this is too hot for you!" 
- And finally, I would like to thank Stephanie so very much, for without her, I would have bought the laundry detergent that was not actually laundry detergent but bleach and I would have a very bland wardrobe. 

It is sinful to be unhappy and single.

It's 4am and I'm wide awake after waking up in the middle of a dream about a guy back home talking to one of my friends. In my dream I was so overcome with jealousy that I actually got up and left the social gathering we were all attending (jealousy is still a sin I struggle with if you didn't pick that up). I woke up thinking to myself, "Why am I jealous over a guy who has never even been mine?" As I write this blog there is a chance he will be reading this so I'm hesitant to post, but I know there are women out there who follow my blog who are moved and touched by the things the Lord reveals to me so I am taking the chance of him reading this, hoping God will use my words to help encourage and move you if you ladies are in the same place I am in.  

A couple days ago I was listening to a sermon my friend Jackie sent me. When I visited her and my sister in Kentucky, I went to church with her and the pastor had just started a message about the Christian Family. That particular day, he was speaking to the husbands in the room but I was still very moved by the things he said so I was very excited when she sent me the message specifically for the single people. One of the first things the pastor said in his message was "It is sinful to be unhappy and single." Don't get too upset when you read that, he was speaking about us being unhappy at our status of singleness. He spoke from 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and spent a lot of time talking about waiting on the Lord. He talked to how our singleness should be maximized to serving the Lord and not seeking out a spouse. He talked about Adam and Eve and how when God realized Adam needed a partner, God moved on Adam's behalf and explained that when the time is right, God will bring you your mate. He gave the example of Isaiah and Rebecca and reminded us that on the same day of meeting Rebecca, Isaiah married her. 

Coming to Korea was an uphill battle for, mostly because of my desire to be married, and if I'm honest with you, being around children every day has been intensifying that desire. When I left, I thought I was leaving the chance to be moving toward going from single to married. My focus was all about my status and my mind was consumed with this pseudo relationship I was in. Looking back, I feel like such a fool. 

At church yesterday, we sang a song that moved me. I'm not sure what the name of the song is, but part of the lyrics say "I bring an offering of worship to my King, no one on earth deserves the praises that I sing." In that moment, God broke me. He helped me to realize I have made this man an idol in my life. We are not dating, we aren't even speaking, yet I spend more time in the day thinking about him than I do thinking about the Lord. That is so backwards!! I've been praying for the Lord to release me from this for a long time now. I hate feeling like this, I hate thinking about it all day, I hate waking up in the middle of the night with feelings of jealousy over something that isn't even mine to be jealous of. 

In the message the pastor says, "First, find your fulfillment in Him, so when God does find your mate, your mate will find a whole person." In my head I know no man will ever fully satisfy me the way the Lord can but my wicked heart keeps thinking I need a husband. I'm glad the Lord is changing my heart in that area. I'm reminding myself of what God says to the Israelite's in Hosea 2:19-20 "And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord." God tells us in Isaiah 54:5  "For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." I will take comfort in remaining in this place, knowing God will continue growing me closer to Him. The intimacy I can feel with the Lord continues to far exceed my expectations and I look forward to more of that. If you want to watch the sermon series I spoke of about the Christian Family, click here.

The foreigner "nod and smile"

This morning I woke up with one thing on my mind, explore, explore, explore. I'm not sure if it has been all the "love bugs" I've been getting from the kids at school, or if my body was just in total shock going from 80 degrees in Dallas to 8 degrees in Korea but I have been sick for over a week now. I've been so exhausted that I haven't had the energy to do anything. Today I decided that in spite of the sickness, I was going to get out and trying to figure out this city. So, with Kleenex and chap-stick in hand, I set out to achieve 3 goals. First, find a gym. It is extremely cold here and I'm pretty sure we'll continue getting more snow so running outside isn't really an option for me. Second, buy more clothes. I'm sooooo COLD!! I've realized the layering method we used in Texas just isn't going to cut it here. And last, but most important, locate the church I will be visiting tomorrow. 

I left my house at 9am and the plan was to walk down one road for a mile or so and then turn around and come back and walk down another road in a different direction but always returning to the same mid point so I never got lost. Well, that didn't last very long. Curiosity got the best of me and as my eyes wondered, exploring everything and taking it all in, so did my legs. I roamed around for hours not having a clue where I was but confident if I got too lost I could take a bus or taxi and get home. 3 and a half hours later, not having found a gym or clothing, I stumbled into the part of town where I thought the church was. I searched and I couldn't find it and as I was walking I spotted another foreigner. There is something all the foreigners do here, it's quite odd. You see another foreigner, you nod to say hello without the words and smile to show them you are happy to see someone who looks like you and then you keep walking, never saying a word. It's really weird to me. You can spot another foreigner from a mile away and even though there are many of us here, in a city populated with over a million people, we are few and far between, so why don't they talk to each other? Well today I decided to break the foreigner code. So far, the only foreigners I've seen have been men, and I didn't want to be the creeper girl trying to randomly talk to them. Well today I saw a female! There is something comforting about seeing another female over here. I felt much more confident that if I interrupted her daily routine, she would be less bothered. So, after searching for the church forever, I stopped her and asked her if she knew where it was. Bianca is her name, and she had no clue what I was talking about but she so graciously pulled out her ipad and helped me realize I was totally in the wrong area. She showed me which bus to get on and where to get off so I could find the church. 

I made it to the part of town the church was located and again, walked the city searching. Most signage is written in Korean but some signs are in English so I assumed it wouldn't be hard to spot the English sign or find something that looked like a church. I was wrong! After 45 minutes of walking around aimlessly, I decided to give up. I got on the bus to head back to my apartment and while riding on the bus, spotted the church! It was the opposite direction of the area I roamed, apparently I got off on the wrong bus stop. So, my adventure ended with only 1 of my three goals getting met but you know what, finding a place to connect with others who love Jesus was the most important thing on my list. And, I met a new friend in the process. Thanks Bianca! 

Here are a few pictures from today's adventure. The rest are posted on Facebook.